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A readers' forum post by Scipio on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 10:35 | reply to this comment
Taking her in hand is not primarily about spanking her
A readers' forum post by Sarah Cavendish on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 10:56 | reply to this comment
Scipio's very interesting and helpful comment raises another point in my mind. It highlights why you might want to avoid thinking of taking her in hand as being primarily about spanking her. Taking her in hand is only marginally about spanking her (if at all). Thinking of it as spanking/disciplining/punishing her instead of taking the lead in the relationship is not conducive to things continuing when there is a physical reason you can't spank her. Taking her in hand is not a physical thing so much as a mental/psychological thing. You might express your authority by spanking her or in some other physically-forceful way, or you might express it by taking control through more subtle or just psychological means.

For an example of taking her in hand non-physically, read Kathy's Dominant to the last. For another example, read Jeff's comment about the film Secretary, in this article: Does it have to hurt to be Taken In Hand?.

If you rely on just spanking, you might be missing most of what Taken In Hand is really about, and you will be leaving yourself open to problems when spanking is not possible.

A readers' forum post by Sarah Cavendish on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 10:56 | reply to this comment
Practical Hints for Men - Bottom Injuries
A readers' forum post by carlf on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 11:59 | reply to this comment
Tom, there are a number of issues in your situation that I would like to address separately.

First of all, when you wife has an injury or bug bite or whatever, you can still put her over your lap and put your palm on her bottom. Holding it there and giving her a good lecture will probably do a lot of good.

Also, you can "pat" her on her non-sore side without causing any pain.

The idea is to put her in position and create the mood without the physical pain of a spanking.



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