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I understand much better now the position of women like Bramble, who feel submissive towards their partners without feeling a need for spanking or any kind of punishment. Punishment is not important, it's just an extra. It's not what makes me want to submit.

A readers' forum post by Louise C on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 12:53 | reply to this comment
Consistency...gotta get me some of that.
A readers' forum post by Tom on Tue, 11/01/2005 - 06:50 | reply to this comment
I just continue to be amazed by the amount of helpful advice pouring forth from readers of this site. What an awesome place. Thanks again to everyone. It's nice to find that I'm not the first person to have had these questions.

I must admit that I had come to the point of being quite discouraged by, as Fosti put it, this process of "3 steps forward and 2 steps back." In hindsight, I realize that I've been focusing on the 2 steps back rather than the net gain of 1 step. I was honestly starting to wonder if it would have been better if we had never tried this lifestyle in the first place. After getting a taste of how wonderful it could be, NOT having it just became that much more depressing.

Based on what I've read in your many replies, I'm realizing that my wife and I have a lot of discovery yet ahead of us. We just need to take it a step at a time and try to enjoy the process, learning from our mistakes and continuing to talk.

Scipio, I really appreciated hearing from you how long layoffs between spankings contributed to a feeling of awkwardness at doing so again when called for. That's a feeling I've experienced exactly. I think for me, it's going to come down to what several other readers emphasized. I need to work on maintaining consistency in my dominant role between spankings. I've been making it more about whether I'm going to spank her tonight or not, which leads to a feeling of pressure, and ultimately doesn't feel "real".

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